nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
