Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She needs sedatives and a leash
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Two words: nipple clamps
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