don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
