i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
