Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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