Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
