I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Randomize
