1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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