12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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