Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
