But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
