I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
