i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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