We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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