there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
