I'm going to jail i love you
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
