It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
