I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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