Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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