Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
