no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
