just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
