I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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