my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
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