it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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