Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
