Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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