When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
