I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
