I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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