You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
