With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
