Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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