She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
