somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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