he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
