i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
