Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
