at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
