Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
