i think i have herpe
just one?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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