Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
