for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
