Jerry, you need to find god
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Rumble strips road head = magical
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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