i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
