How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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