Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
