Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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