I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
