is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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